Providing Love, Gaining Wisdom: Dee and Jim’s Foster Parent Story

“We won’t stop being foster parents until the need is no longer there, but the truth is, there is always a need.”

During their 23-year journey as foster and adoptive parents, Dee and Jim have collected many pieces of wisdom, which have served them well while fostering more than 50 children and adopting six.

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Among the most important lessons, according to Dee, is to refrain from judging a person or situation at face value, and learning to assume the best in people, as well as getting to know your foster children and their biological families.

“Above all, you must give a child time to trust you,” said Dee.

Dee and Jim are appreciative of their relationship with Wheeler. “Whenever you, as a foster parent, think ‘I can’t do this,’ and there will be times, Wheeler is there to support, encourage, and reassure you that you can,” said Jim. “Our ability to continue with this process is because of our relationship with the Wheeler team,” he added.

“We have had some tough experiences, and Wheeler was there both physically and emotionally for us and at all hours of the day and night,” said Dee. “And it’s not just your worker or clinician, it’s the whole Foster Care team. They care about the children in our home but also about us as a family and as individuals.”

This couple continues to be motivated and inspired to be foster parents because of the ongoing need for loving, stable homes. In Connecticut, for example, there are more than 4,000 children and youth in the foster care system and hundreds more who need caring homes.

“We won’t stop being foster parents until the need is no longer there, but the truth is, there is always a need,” said Dee. “We love being foster parents, and we love all of our children. We just wish there was no abuse and neglect in this world.”

Jim offered some additional words of advice gleaned from years of firsthand experience. “You always need to stay 10 steps ahead. Never take anything personally because it’s not,” he said. “And always, always keep your sense of humor intact.”