The Many Facets of Fostering: Nicole’s Story

Nicole knows the hard work and dedication it takes to be a foster parent, as well as the incredible rewards.

Over the last decade, she has fostered nine children, all teenage boys, some of whom have stayed with her twice.

“Foster care was the perfect opportunity for me. I took a liking to it right away,” she says. “I think the kids can experience a different life. A child can be a child in my house. Have a place to eat. Have a place that’s safe. Not be judged. One said, ‘I really feel like I’m part of your family.’”

While there are challenges—she says she often has mixed feelings when a child leaves, often to be reunified with his family—many remain in touch with her and keep her updated.

“When you foster a child, in some ways you foster their whole family and their backgrounds,” she says. “Many of the kids don’t know what to expect. One said, ‘I didn’t think foster care would be like this. When I first met you, I figured I wouldn’t ever like you. But, in the end, I didn’t want to leave your home.’”

She says it’s taught her whole family skills, like patience and how to communicate effectively with one another. Nicole has her own busy household, with two kids and her mother, who lives with them.

Her advice to prospective foster parents is to do your homework.

“Research a lot. Learn more about the process, the agency you’re working with, everything. And make sure you have the time and energy, because the kids deserve that.”

She says her fondest memory is of one boy who never had the benefit of someone buying him new clothes to wear.

“The winter ball was coming up at his school, and I bought him a suit as a surprise. He looked in the mirror and said, ‘I look good.’ That may have been the first time he ever thought that. I told him he did. He left my house at age 15, but ended up coming back a few years later. He told the social workers, ‘The only place I’ve ever been successful is at Nicole’s house.’”